Roses & Butterflies

no, im not going to talk about Roses & Butterflies

its just a songs name, that is sung by a band called: Making Aprils

its a pretty good soon. go listen to it.

hmmmmmmmmm.

Life. yeahhhh.

So my Bears scored the winning touchdown with 9 secs. left inthe game on sunday

YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

suck that

really..thats maybe the only good thing thats even happen to me lately.

besides my friends,

Now, on some saturdays I have an 8 hour class

yes. I do repeart, an 8 hour class on 4 sats.

please . sent your sorrys

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

from 8:30am-4:30pm

but she lets us out around 2:30

well, last class

& ive had this teacher people, n we r never till till we r suppost to be.

always let out early.

so. yay?

now. more crap. yess its been. hm. intresting how so much crap can happen in just couple of days

me and my mom....HAHAHA o lord.

that is hell right now

my family is completely falling apart

its amazing...well, i mean ... ahh..

not amazing that its falling apart

just on how it really could happen

my whole family use to be super close

and just now, its like so...gone.

my 2nd older sister, gene & my mom

bene fighting for like. years. and years. AND YEARS.

it never ends.

untill now.

Last June, Gene called me going on n on about something ,

her stupid boss sent a horrible letter to my mother

to the point that my mom said if we get another letter from him

we are going to the police

well when we got it, it hought it was from Gene

b/c one. that is something she would two

two. it looked JUST like her handwritting

well I gues Gene found out about it, and she clled me

saying how dare I say it was Gene that wrote it

when, um i never did. all i said was like, that looks like Gene's handwriting

thats it. i never said GENE DID IT

but, its Gene. Its alwahs, she is right, everyone is wrong. the end.

anyways, than she started bashingmy mom

iwas like omg u dont know how it is living in the same house

n gene is liek yes i do ive been there

um. when gene lived in the house

which was like . god many many years ago

maybe hm 18-19 yrs ago?

my mom wasnt an alohalic than

so she doesnt know.

n THAN SHE HAD THE GOD DAMN NERVE

to say shitabout my dad

going on how he needs to put his foot down

n shit

thats when i had it

i yelled at her saying stop talking shit about my family and hanged up on her

i havnt heard a word from her ince than

and im fine with it.

when i got hoe i was crying & i told my dad everythin

n he said if she EVER calls u or anything. dont answer

i said o trsut me. u wont

WELL..just last week, she randomy called my mom

in my head im like omg wtf does she want now

now, Gene. everything she calls she needs something

alwys money. she ows my rents so much money but w/e

my dad knows he sooo wont be seing it anytime soon w/e

anyways

so gene goes on how she was at a funeral n someones said my mom was really sick???

\umnwhat? this is new to everyone

so she was 'so worried' she called to see what was going on

um yeah w/e Gene

n than i guess Gene went on n sarting talkin shit about me

my mom told me she was telling my mom to kick me out of the house

b/c at this time, Gene was out of the house

UM. WHEN GENE WAS THIS AGE SHE WAS PREGNANT

WITH SOMEONE SHE WASNT EVER GOING TO MARRY

so umm? okay? w/e

n than Gene went on saying im soo damn spoiled n shit

OH MY GOD

thats when I had it. im soo sick of it

Really, If i have to listen to someone go on n bitch how we have money

i will punch you in the face

im not even joking.

im SOOOO sick of it!!!

That is why i left seaworld

i got so much crap for it

i was done

and really, if i have to listen bring on shit about how omg we have money

i will punch them. ive had it. its so annoying & tireing

im sooo soorrryyy my dad went to college. that is he super smart

he got a really good degree & got a really good job

k? its not my fault. you can do it too.

so shut up

dkfjslkfdj ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

thats my venting.

well there is a guy. but w/e. i got played by him

i wont get into it.

i guess holding hands with someone, holding them, rubbing them

[ i mean my rubbing my hands, arms & legs! sickso]

& a kiss at the end of the night ment nothing

w/e

sdklfjlsfjlksjf ahh okay

im done writing my noval

and done venting.

time to. uh idk. untill i go shopping with anu & joyce

bye.

soo. im pretty much the worst person on updating..hehehe
my bad
alot has gone on
hanging with friends
stressing over school work
and been working at Kindercare for my internship
Atfirst, i was totally against it
I, NOT AT ALL, wanted to get my A.S Degree in Early Childhood Dev.
but idk, working at Kindercare, doing Pre-schoolers, age 4
helping out like.
Mann..i Love these kids...
they are the cutest things ever
they attack me every day that i go [tues & thursdays. some fridays] by hugs
and sitting on me n holding my hands n wanting me to play with them
litteraly. they are the cutest things ever.
there is a couple that I just want to adopt and take with me <3
I would post up pics, but the blog is having problems.

ugh. gayyy.

i'll just put them as links and you can see my loves<3

These are Abby. I want to adopt her so bad :) lol

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/1281/abby1fs3.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/6007/abby3hu0.jpg

This is Ben

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8213/bennn2.jpg

This is Carson. I want to adopt him also.

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/4179/carsenyh4.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/5061/carson1jx2.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/2231/carsonsillyfacefb3.jpg

This is Jacob, the other one I want to adopt

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8972/jacobbn5.jpg

This is Jayden

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/268/jaydenlt8.jpg

Me, Jayden & Carson making faces

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/9459/jaydencarsonsillyfacegm8.jpg

This is John

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/6691/johnrj3.jpg

This is Julio

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2941/juliocu1.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/2102/juilosillyfaceqp4.jpg

This is Kendall

http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/694/kendellzj8.jpg

http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/6754/kendell1mo3.jpg

This Is Kyla. The other one i want to adopt. lol

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/1803/kylahb1.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/9800/kyla1qw0.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/8819/kyla2by4.jpg

This is Lana

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/218/lanaxw3.jpg

This is Mi, its pronunce Me.

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/448/miqz6.jpg

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/7117/mi1pp4.jpg

This is Nicole, the bitchy one. Im not lying at all, she is. lol. Its all about her, and she rats everyone out and takes things from others just b/c she wants to play with them lol.

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/447/nicolewc3.jpg

This is Noel, he is attached to my hip. Not a lie. haha i love him

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2955/noelwq6.jpg

This is Trevor, I want him also. lol

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/9276/trevorqm6.jpg

This is Tristin

http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/816/tristeniz9.jpg

This is Zion

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/107/zionde7.jpg

there is 2 more, but I dont have pics of them yet.

But yeah, thats really about it,

besides going out and what not

soo yeahhh

im tired

and its

BASEBALL POST SEASON!!! WHOOHOOOO!!!!

TIME TO GO WATCH THE GAME!!!

Lator Gators<3

A whole new world...or so it seems.

So. im 21 now.

Its funny, how people go on and on about what a huge change it is

Really...I havnt seen it.

Im still the same.

Not one change

only i can drink leagal, as Robert put it hahahaha.

Did i drink on my bday?

yes.

drunk?

no.

I really dont see the whole "fun" and "joy" as some people have said, on being completely wasted.

I have even talked about this with my dad,

I think its stupid.

I mean, why drink to your wasted and you cant remember anything from that night?

You'd have ppl go "mann last night was soo funny!"

and Your answer is.."i dont remember it"

how is that fun? ummm...to me, Fun is something you can remember.

I drink smart. I know my limit.

Yeah, i've been drunk before.

but to the drunk of, i know what happen that night.

Of course, my dad knows thats what i think,

the next day, he asked me "soo what did you drink on ur bday"

and i told him.

thats how close we are.

psh. he knows i've drank before.

i mean, hes been there.

he knows i know my limit

he trusts me on it.

I guess, well not an I guess, but i am greatful for the friendship between me & my dad

alot of people tell me im so lucky on that.

O, I know. You dont have to remind me :)

Well, I dont have it with my mom, so I gotta have one with my dad.

duhhhh. hahahaha.

I guess, one thing that did hurt me on my bday is, i didnt get my every year, phone call, from my older sisters.

I was really looking forward to it,

But, for Karen,(oldest sister) I will give her slack

she did send me a bday card

and i knew just couple of days or just about a week (i cant remember)

her son, My nephew, Bryan just went to college

and something was wrong with the car

Rreally, not getting a phone call from her, didnt really hurt me, b/c i got a card

Now...for Gene on the other hand,

im extreamly hurtful.

no card. no call.

Yes, i know we aint talkin.

because really. as my dad said, shes just..i guess kinda out of the family

but it would of been nice JUST A CALL to say happy birthday

dont have to have a convo

she could of just called and went "Hey, Happy Birthday. Hope your having a great day",

& i'd answer n than just go

"Well i have to go, just wanted to quickly call and say happy birthday. bye"

I would of LIVED with that.

I mean, My neice, her daughter, Erica called me on my birthday &amp; said happy birthday

and we talked for about 10 mins.

Would it of killed her just to say happy birthday?

I guess so.

I guess I should of seen it coming, I got nothing from her on christmas.

o well.

I guess it kinda sucks, since she is one of my older sisters,

and we aint talking.

But she did piss me off (the last day we talked) when she started talking shit baout my dad

one. she had NO REASON to.

two. after all my dad has done for her, givin her money when she was in trouble,

helping her when she was in need,

me & him picking up Erica when she couldnt

three, always has been there for her,

he treated Gene like she was his own blood daughter

and, this is how she repays him? talking shit about him to me?

no. of course i was going to say fuck you and hang up on her

it was bullshit.

i cried all the way home

and told my dad everything.

and he told me "well fine. she ever calls ur cell or house. dont answer"

that was couple months ago.

end of may/early june.

sometime around that.

O weel. i guess.

ahhhh..venting feels good. hahahaha.

So school is back.

its going well.

i got good teachers.

"Im going to appolize now. I cuss. If i say something and it offends you. im sorry"

words from my pych. teacher. hahaha.

I do have to say...I kinda do like pych.

so far what we've talked about...its like..instursting..i like it.

math. well. its math. what is there TO even like. haha

than i got my internships...ehhh.

idk. im soo kinda not into it, since really..im not 100% into doing

but. i dont really have a choise, according to my dad

so ...well..guess i just gotta suck it up.

wellllllllllllllllll......Thats realllyyy it. did my whole updating

from not doing in over a weekish.

and watching the Yankee<3>

YAY. YANKEES.

THEY ARE WINNING.

yay.

Welll. im off. lata gators<3

only 3 more days till a new world

yep

3 more days till im 21

im really excited for my birthday

soo farr.. my birthday. there is:

Karah J, Whitney Tripp, Whitney Spearman, Kristy Flom, Jordan Martin?(maybe), Teryn Murry, Katie Grigsby?(maybe) and Jessica?(maybe)

Soo im kinda excited

I didnt think it be that many people because of college starting

soo really not much going on becides hanging with friends

and working

soooo today ther was a fight at work

yeahh no lie. aha.

2 guest wer fighting

something about who being first in line

yeah hi know..DUMB

n than they were yelling at each other

and the teen was calling the older lady, old lady

n balbala

n they shoved each other

we called sercuirty

and yeah.

thats it.

i was liek....are you kidding me

it happen just before i was leaving to

soo i saw it.

hahaha

i was like "well..glad i thought of just putting the rest of the clothes away when i could of just go and clock out...entertainment" n Ashleah was laughing.

yeah. me and herw ere pretyt entertained hahaha

butttttt yeahh

now im home

soo im hopeing of going out

im textin peeps see whos open

soo yepp :)

now ima goo relax till someone texts/calls me back on plans!

LATOR GATORS<3

cuz when your a celebrity its adios realliittyyyy

yep.

thats brad pasiley song right there

celebrity. my fav. song by him

and i saw him sing it. live. on thursday night

WHOOHOOO

hes so sexy

haha

but yeah. i went with sasha

Karly Brown & her family were across from us, 2 rows up

it was funny

and Brittney was in 2 sections from me

Jason was on the floor

and Ashley was across from me on the stadium

whooo!

so yeah that was pretty amazing right there. one of my favorite times!

So work was been going really well

i love it

i love the people i work with

we all joke around and have fun

love love love it!

i work 5ish days aweek

not bad

im mostly closeing..andd tired of that

hahaha

but atlest im like not doing 8am..WHOO!

did it once. hate it. to early. haha.

well..really thats about it that been going on

hanging with friends, going to work...brad pasiley concert

O YEAH MY BRITHDAY IS COMING UP! WHOOHOO

and i'll be 21 years old!

joy!

still dont know what im doing for my birthday yet..

maybe i'll make someone else plan it and surprise me

ahhaha

I woudl make sasha do that.. BUTTTTTT

that flipping loser wont be here on my birthday :(

really sad

and i know Leslie already told me she doesnt want to see me

lol. meany!

ROBERT WANTS TO SEE ME THOUGH!! hahha

All i have so far planed is go to cheesecake factory with friends for dinner

i dunno what to do after...o well!

Got a couple more days to figure that one out!

and WHitney's is tomorrow! (still ahve no clue WHAT to get her!)

but thats about it

guess i'll find something to do until i go to work in an hour!

latterrrr! <3

"Nothing better to do" -LaAnn Rimes

Soo, the title of this is just a song that is stuck in my head all day

even though i know people who dont like this song..hahah.

i dont care if u dont like it, i do.

its catchy. i like the tune

no, i didnt have anything better to do

no i didnt have nothing to do

ive been busy all day

This weekend was pretty much got

i havnt really been home at all this week.

every day ive been out

so today is actaully first day im home for dinner in a week

Friday i had an interview at AAA

i kinda did want it, but after the interview, i didnt.

i REALLLYY hope they dont call me

the guy who i was doing the interview with..

i felt werid..i was not confertable at all

i saw him keep looking down at my chest during the interview

i really didnt enjoy so...so im begging that they dont call back

WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE I GOT A JOB TODAY

but i'll explain all that when i get to talk about today,

anyways than was out Friday night with Joyce, Anu & Sasha

dinner at Olive Garden than ran to seworld to ride kraken before it closed

hahaha yeah we knwo we r weird. but we r okay with that

Sat.

Hanged out with Kristy with alot of the night before going to Brittneys

we drove around, did our make up at ULTA (hahaha)

than after, went to Brittneys for the night

we watched a movie and jsut about joked around

likeee allwayyssss lol

she loves teaseing me, and i just call her a bitch hahaha

we didnt go to bed till 4am

than woke p at 7 b/c richard was going to pick us up and we were going to go to Trucks gone Wild and go mudding and stuff..

than sundayyyyy cameeeee...

anddddd we waited till 8:30 nothing from him

which we went pshhh LEST GO TO SLEEP!

so we did..and he called us at 11 3 times. we hit ignore b/c we wanted sleep haha

and he texted us and told us he forgot to set his alarm clock

we said k we r going back to sleep bye haha

and than woke up at 2pm

went to subway than smoothie at planet smootie

and watched the race

thannn hanged more till 11pm

so that we were together for 24 horus hahahah

thann today.

woke up at 11

shell wanted to go to the mall

soo we left at 12:30

went to Mall of Millena

went shopping

i got a shirt at Forever 21 & my lotion n body splash and a shirt at victora secret

had lunch at johnny rockeys b/c shell never been there before

than went to the Alt. Mall for me to find more jobs app.

now this is what iw a talking about at hte begg. of this blog...

i went to Charlotte Russe and asked for an App.

and they lady said yeah & to come in at 5pm b/c she was doing an interview

(it was 4:30 at the time) i was liek okay sure

so i filled it out, came back at 5

had an interview

and..me and Kystal (the other one who had the interview)

got the job!
whoohooo!!!

we both so Sales

so yeah! you can come visit me!! haha

i start thursday!

so yep. finally! goshh haha

butt reallly..thats it. and its 7:14 now...i might be going out with Sasha later today

iii dunnooo yettt. See how i feel (if really tired or w/e) when she gets out of class

so yep.

im done. LATOR GATORS <3

Changing of the season

So I thought the title, Changing of the Season
as a perfect name of it...

So Today while i was laying in the sun working on my tan

I realized how much I have changed just in this last year

• from my style in clothes
• how i act
• my beliefs

and it intrested me

I remember how i went threw the "punk" phase for a year in highschool
when i use to just wear all sports stuff
and now, going to girly stuff
yeah i still have my sporty side, and actaully righ tnow im wearing my Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls jersey haha
but just before, during the day i was dressed girly
i cant leave the house w/o make up on
i always match
always have matching jewerly
and my purse has to go well with it
i got my desinger stuff

To me, it just looked like im opening up to new stuff
but really, im changing.

I remember, just couple months ago (maybe 4-5)
how I was thinking "psh. screw waiting till marriage for sex who cares"
and now, im glad I didnt give it to Sam
i think about it now, and Im glad i never did it.
Now i reazlied, yeah im going to wait till marriage
im not going to take the chanse n get a STD or something
Maybe even a baby, even though im on the pill
but still. Now im glad. it is something special for someone special
Im not going to jsut give it to anyone
im glad i reazlied that before it was to late.
and yeah. the pain just doesnt sound pleasent. ahhaha

and I reazlied something, now im like yay drinking!
and double yeah in less than a month(on aug 21) ill be 21
Heck tot he yes
but than i think about it..
i prolly like drinking more now, b/c im not suppost to
once i turn 21, id prolly be like..okay..um.. yay?
because i know me. i get bored easy.
who knows i guess We will see about it
buttttt thats what i think

I remember junior year in highschool i wouldnt drink. i was against it
and same in senior year
Mostly b/c of my mom.
i see her drink 24/7 and i had to deal with it
all the yelling and horrible name calling
everything she did to me & my family
i didnt like being around people who drank, and i wouldnt
it has tought me on how to grow up faster
and not to drink so much, which i dont
i do to just baout when i know im drunkish than i stop
i do not want to be like my mom. shes the last person id ever want to be like

So now you can see how the title works well with this.

noww..i dunno what to write hahha
so i think ill end..i let it all out :) lol

LATOR GATORS<3